back to basics

so where have i been bloggers?

struggling. thats where; struggling.

so i've been thinking a lot lately about how to handle life and this is what i've come up with

back to basics

#1 simplify

pizza

= cheese + sauce (tomatoes) + bread

= dairy + grain + vegetable

= <3

why treat it as something else? the only power fear foods have is what you give it.

i'm not gonna be afraid of an italian specialty ever again..

#2 do indulge

never ever turn down a scoop of ice cream ... not only did it cause me to miss out on a fun time with the girls but it only triggered mmm... about 30 scoops of ice cream later on.

moderation is key, my friends.

#3 love yourself

probably the hardest one to comprehend, but anything made in God's image, is perfect. YOU are beautiful in His eyes. Lovelovelove.

#4 trust others

my nutritionist obviously isnt gonna make me fat? so yes, miss dietician, i will try your meal plan (:

#5 no excuses

nothing in life should compromise your health. i never again will let a b/p pass as an nbd (no big deal)

so much to catch up on!

later loves

reaaaaaaallyy?

have i honestly neglected my blog again?

... i did, i'm sorry.

this has been my life in one sentence.

sleep, eat, school, eat, work, eat, sleep, work, work, work, work.

get it?

semesters almost over so i definitely will find sometime!

cannot wait to move to VA BEACH FOR BIBLE COLLEGE!

yayayayy sand!

i'll leave ya to think about this!

when God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better..

strangerr

uh huh, that would be me..
not because i havent wanted to, but because i havent had a chance to even breathe!
i'm basically living at Friendly's, employee of the month? (;
hehe so no pictures, no exciting news, just another month here and gone!

hopefully april brings around some interesting moments that i can blog about,
plus some yummy foods :D

Virginia beach, my ladies

devoted womens conference 2010

in Virginia beach!
blog back soon :D

life as an adult

to tell you the truth, i dont feel older! i was hoping my eighteenth birthday would be magical. i'd wake up and FEEL like an adult, but nope i'm still my goofy self..

and that would be my sissy..

growing up is more of a... mm process?

i guess i was responsible like an adult and did my classwork allllll day! (wrote fifteen page essay HOLLA)

dined like a responsible adult with a well balanced lunch:

butternut squash soup with parmesan, laughing cow, whole wheat flatbread

THAT WAS THE BEST CANNED SOUP EVER! thank you target for that amazing birthday present in a jar..

and went to work like a responsible ADULT employee (:

after a long shift i came home with some great tips and an awesome surprise:

BALLOONS BIGGER THAN MY BODY!

yeeee so maybe not all boys are jerks!

... maybe

to be continued!

woo 18

18 years of age today. craaaaazzzzyyyyyyyy

you know what that means?!

VISA! muahahaha

i feel like this was yesterday...

back later with a big post!

never

if only, i could see what it would be like if i never suffered from anorexia.

how different life would have been!

i would have never lost my love for dance...

i would have never have lost my passionate future of living in the city

i would have never have lost my first true love...

i would have never have lost my group of friends...

(to a degree, i never wanted to do anything!)

to become someone i never imagined i'd be:

Recovery is more than weight gain, youre gaining your life back..

your hope, your future, your passion, you

NEDA- spread awareness, gain back a life

silly advertisements

before my spin class, i stopped for a late lunch at whole foods;

garlic green beans, sesame glazed tofu (my favorite), stir fry noodles, and a quinoa dish.

I HATED THE QUINOA and i dont know why?! maybe because it was cold? i didnt like the mix with chickpeas? hmmmm... any good recipes i can try at home?

its okay; i finished everything else (;

ohh and i love what the little tent fold says in the background:

"be good to your whole body"

yet another silly advertisement!

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. -C.S. Lewis

that man is pure genius.

hungry? grab a snickers.

honestly i HATE snicker bars, idk why? maybe its because im not a huge fan of chocolate..

but moving onnnn. i saw a commercial for it today and here was there hook;

"you aren't yourself when you're hungry"

woah! well hello deeper meaning!

snickers actually had a point here, i began thinking of how far i've come since being wrapped up in anorexia; gosh i really wasnt myself! i was a lifeless, depressed frame of a once energetic beautiful girl. ( i wish i could find this commercial; it was funny; google you disappoint me)

i convinced myself that i wasnt starving, desperately hungry, when in reality that was so far from the truth. gahhh i NEEDED to eat about 100 snickers (;

its funny when you find motivation in silly advertisements, but i'm glad i just happened to flip to this channel today!

overwhelmed

by the mass amount of junk food my great aunt bought us:

mind you; theres only 3 girls living in my house (:

so you bet my weaknesses made it into that cart!

Chips Ahoy! and ice creammmmm

yeeeeeeeee

whats your favorite junk food?

remember moderation is key (;

i forgot

i forgot that despite the fact that i'm super girly, i love freaking camping!

haha i think its just the atmosphere of getting away from the real world

p.s. i love all that unhealthy camp food too,

so bad, yet so good (;

childhood nostalgia: fluffernutter

in a bowl, duh :D

lets see? skiing is dangerous! what the heck, i feel like i got ran over by a bus, buttttt i was pretty good!

... on the bunny hill

ex? not so good, lets not go there

friends? amazing! love god, love life, love health

You are altogether beautiful, my darling,
beautiful in every way.

songs of solomon 4:7

breakkk

yup, i havent been here in idk 4593830 days?

oh welllll...

wish me luck for i am going on a youth retreat in the poconos this weekend (more snow; gag me).

anxiety is at all time highs for this trip:

• catered meals (usually i'm ok with them but this is all junk food! we have the menus)
• never been skiing/snowboarding/tubing (brilliant time to try right)
• 3 days in the same location as my ex, who happens to be the pastor's son (we were serious for 2 years and uhm now he doesnt acknowledge me) i am STILL not over it..

wish me luck, i have a feeling i'm gonna need it!

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

isaiah 41:9-11

unwrapped

literally this wrap was coming undone as i was trying to snap a picture!

turkey club wrappish:

Flat-Out STUFFED with smart balance mayo, turkey, uncured all-natural turkey bacon (35 cals, 6 g protein for a huge thick slice; DOESNT taste like bacon but it definitely DOESNT taste bad! better actually), romaine, carrots, and tomato with a gala apple. i hate to take a bite! :D

please try this? and tell me this isnt one of the best combos God ever created (; hehehe

plans for the rest of the day?

gym to run! gotta be consistent!

work? friendlys? right. because people want ice cream during a blizzard !

whats your favorite sandwich? this is definitely top 3 on my list!

yeeeeeee

winner of the wimpy giveaway is miss becca!

please send me your address lover and i'll send them out asap!

there might be a few surprises, but if i told you then it wouldnt be a surprise. duhhh

be back later with some YUMMY eats from today

weeeeeeeeeee (;

happy friday everyone

veggied out

EARLY (LIKE 2AM) why cant i sleep?!

i woke up oddly enough craving vegetables;

plain, boiled, crisp vegetables.

what the heck?! is my body trying to tell me something?!

exactly what i had: 2 eggs scrambled, huge bowl of steamed broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, served with a bottle squirt of ketchup

other eats i've been meaning to share:

yesterdays lunch:

roast beef, provolone, and spinach panini with a golden delicious

(:

some snack?

vanilla oikos with a whole grain banana nut muffin, little spoonful of barney butter just for good measure :D

yummmmmy

i've been running everyday and its true! it does get easier! for all you treaders out there, any suggestions on getting more miles in?

how do you fall asleep? AND stay asleep?!

i'm blonde (r)

my hair was yet again dyed and the fried feeling was back!

HAIR TIP : for smoother hair, while in the shower, conditioner still in, use a wide toothed comb to brush through before rinsing! really does work! (;

don't forget to enter the giveaway below! sample organic hair products are now included:D pictures to follow!
also, one more surprise will be added tomorrow! (;

ohh i'm excited! hah yayayyayay

giveaway

i'm newish to the blog and i dont have many readers (obviously haha) but i still want to do giveaways! i love them and i'd love to share my favorites with you..small and simple but here it is.

my absolute favorite tea. you cant beat it (: i'm more of a coffee drinker but this stuff is amazing.

the website describes it as a fruity black tea with hints of lemony bergamont.

idontknow its indescribable to me.

all you have to do is leave a comment telling me your favorite morning pick me up

or add me to your blog roll and let me know!

i'll give it til friday since i dont know how many people will enter and will draw a random winner then..

not much, but i'd enjoy it (;

foods for thought

take care of your body, take care of your hair with the foods you eat!

according to WebMD, these are the top ten foods for a gorgeous head of hair

salmon

dark greens such a spinach

beans

eggs

poultry

nuts

oysters (ew)

low fat dairy

carrots

wholegrains

seems easy to follow right? your hair is mostly made of keratin, a protein also found in nails, so obviously i recommend getting enough protein! how can you grow a protein if you arent eating enough of it to replace the source? you can find lipids in you hair too, when i started eating nut butters, i noticed a HUGE difference. my hair is very course, not so soft, but when i added nuts to my diet during recovery, i noticed that my hair is significantly smoother and who wouldnt want that? (;

oh and dont just worry about your locks! your hair starts at the scalp.

healthy scalp = healthy hair!

get enough b-6 and sulfur

you can find them in:

cabbage

fish

onions

cucumbers

sweet potatoes

wheat germ

the list goes on!

try avoiding a lot of fried foods, but i think thats pretty obvious (:

try these suggestions out and see if you can tell a difference!

CIAJ

i broke the mold this morning and made this:

(whole foods cashew butter is almost better than my jiff.. almost)

i made cereal in a jar. I poured a cup of Trader Joe's Soy and Flax Clusters into the almost empty jar and filled it with milk. i let it soak in a little and the results were glorious!

haha it was so fun scraping a little of the butter off with each bite!

and unlike oats, its nice and cold and crisp

(i'm definitely not hating on the oats though!)

Soy and Flax Clusters are my favorite cereal although they are pretty calorically dense

per cup:

190 calories

3 grams fat

7 grams fiber

9 grams protein

BUT CHECK OUT THE STATS!

i'm thinking of adding hair products and styling to the blog, what do ya think? god blessed me with a good head of hair and i love taking care of it! it is the only thing that anorexia didnt steal from me (when i was sick) and thats pretty surprising.

i did it..

i took a picture of the usual

mind you its not that great looking!

whipped banana bran with pb

EVERYDAY!

i wake up every morning (almost every) and make this bowl of energy. thats all food is right? a source of energy that without we wouldnt be able to function! i go into my kitchen and make a mess, i boil 1/2 cup water with 1/2 cup milk (or soy whichever) and eventually add 1/4 cup oat bran. i then slice a HUGE banana real thin and whisk it into the mixture. i let it simmer a little longer (depending on how hungry i am!) and then add a splenda and some vanilla extract! pour it into a bowl and add as much peanut butter as you want.

CAUTION: peanut butter will be the death of me

i happened to eat it out of a large glass cup this morning and put a spoonful of pb in first. itwas a nice little treat for the last savory bite! (:

big day tomorrow! school 9-12, work 12-8, training at other job 8-12. oh boy; this is gonna be nuts! (; i'm planning on eating a lot of them too!

oops...

so i definitely didnt wake up in time for abnormal psych today! my b! ):

its crazy how your body can adjust, its time for me to change my alarm, it no longer does its job!

after accepting the fact that it wasnt worth it to even be tardy, i had my usual breakfast!

(still too early for a photo but i will try tomorrow!)

and started cooking for URBAN PROMISE

i made a simple tray of ziti and stuffed shells

we then take it up to a school in Camden where we serve it to underprivileged kids and hang out with them for the night(;

if you live near Philly, South Jersey, and you'd like to get involved, Let me know!

as for my eats today, not photoworthy. but i'm gonna start taking pictures for my own accountability!

i did have one of these on my way FROM zumba TO yoga

(crazzzzzy i know!)

wawa all natural milkshake! so freaking good, so worth it!

ingredients: strawberry ice cream, milk

tonight i took my first HOT vinyasa flow tonight and i loved it! i guess when youre in a room thats a 100 degrees, you loosen up a little bit (;

any indulgences you'd like to share?

no wayyyyy

i woke up early for class today and started my day off with yogoat

thats what i like to call it!

i soaked a packet of truly vanilla GOLEAN hot cereal in a chobani greek vanilla yog with 1/2 cup water, what i like about these packets is the whole flax seeds mixed in. when left over night they plump up and are yummy and chewy!

in the morning i topped it with CBU and fresh shredded coconut.

wait, CBU? oh right let me explain.. remember the invention of PBU on the blogosphere a while back? i didnt have my own blog back then but i was still an avid reader.

i made CBU

• 1 part cashew butter
• 2 parts vanilla soy milk

mmm! makes the perfect frosting! its creamier, sweeter, and spreadable. TRY IT with any nut butter!

i also tried some kale chips today! SHUT UP, i did not believe Gumdrops when she told me they tasted exactly like tortilla chips.... well they do:

lined a sheet with parchment paper, layed out the kale, drizzled with olive oil, and sea salt and baked for ten minutes at 375.

i was impressed.

(i'm so impatient the short cook time was a definite plus as well!)

any interesting foodie recipes you'd care to share? loveee to hear some! and try of course (;

ilovegumdrops

today was SO much better already.. thanks for all the support lovies (:

woke up to my usual (cant get enough)

banana oat bran with peanut butter

its too early to ever get a good enough photo

and went straight to church, if you havent met Jesus Christ, he's a pretty cool man (;

i then ventured to the gym with my long lost best friend

i will refer to her as gumdrop for the sake of identity (;

after more flirting with the guidos than actual fitness,

we hit up SALADWORKS for a yummy lunch:

created my own after a salad i had in philly:

mixed lettuce, carrots,red onion, turkey, BACON (oh why did i deny you for so long?), feta and mushrooms all tied together with FF Balsamic

the hot toasty whole wheat rolls are freaking unbelievable

we went back to her house and tried kim kardashian's butt blaster, we burned more calories laughing than you would even if you put effort into it(;

i then ventured off to friendly's where i did bust some butt serving sundaes and burgers :D

came home to a lovely snack plate:

carrot chips, pumpernickel rye whole grain pretzels, cucmber slices

all deliciously dipped in cottage cheese/ salsa

a lot better than it sounds! brilliannnnnt combination :D promise.

no good.

today was no good. i did something i havent done in a long time and idk what triggered it?

gahhh i binged/ purged. what the heck? i thought that was all in the past..

i had a fine day, i was not stressed, my calorie intake was high enough, i wasnt anxious over anything.

JEEZ I WASNT EVEN BORED!

it must have been because no one was home and i could get away with it..

easily.

mehh no good no good no good):

hope everyone else's day was better

the other white meat

guys.. i have to confess something. i'm a meat lover. yupp cant deny it! when i was "sick" i was a vegetarian for all the wrong reasons. Meat in moderation has plenty of benefits and gahhh, i honestly cant get enough(; so wrong i knowwww..

take for example this easy dish i made:

i know my photos suck, i'm working on it:P

apple slow roasted pork:

pork loin rubbed with salt and pepper and roasted in an apple spice glaze.

UNBELIEVABLE! if you want the recipe i'm more than happy to share! :D

why choose pork?

Pork contains significant amounts of Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Thiamin, Niacin, Riboflavin and Pantothenic Acid.

packed with iron (; ladiessssss

pork loin is in fact leaner than chicken thighs and

it provides plenty of protein for muscle mass and some fat to keep your skin healthy.

nutritional powerhouse i'd say (:

procrastination at its best..

the fact that im taking 6 classes this semester (why) means my time on these sites is going to have to be limited ): but i cant help how fun they are! thought i'd share them with you since my foods been pretty lame today and not blogworthy...

lumosity.com brain games?! claims it can make you a more productive student(;

sporcle.com CAUTION its freaking addicting.

pilatesanytime.com awesome online classes with a free two week introduction:D yogas more of my thing though

yogatoday.com free weekly class and challenging flows LOVE IT

uo blog just love the fact that every monday is Music Monday with free song downloads from bands that i adore

thought i'd share with you how great of a procrastinator i have become

off to Pilates Core Plus, wish me luck!

what websites are you mindlessly addicted to? (mm facebook)

FRIENDLY FACES

unlike yesterday, today has been awesome

i made it to my 8 am class and lurvveedddd it!

abnormal psych talk about interesting!

theres a lot about eating disorders thats going to be discussed so we'll see how that goes (;

but i'm also really excited that we have to visit 2 institutions of our choice to really experience firsthand the effect of mental disorders. oh where to choose? :D

before i went, i had a simple breakfast. cant tell you the last time i had cold cereal...

kashi island vanilla wheats with raspberries and 2% milk

little thick for my taste

and i definitely missed my oats

yummmm nonetheless

i had another date with Amy for lunch.

this time we had pizza, (spinach!) (on sale at WF!) with a side of grapes

i truly am in love with this woman (;

not only is it "healthy" for a pizza, again it is probably the best frozen i've ever had!

the key is to lay it directly on the rack (and hope the cheese doesnt get toooo melty)

oh oh ohh! i start my new job tonight, at friendlys! no more italian market. serving kids alll night sounds great, right? and no that isnt sarcasm!

today is not my day

blahh is the only word to describe how i feel..

MISSED MY FIRST CLASS ON THE FIRST DAY BACK,

way to go taylor, good FIRST impression.

off to zumba to lighten my mood(: nothing works better than a little butt shaking rightt? right.

facing fears in NYC

like i said in my previous post, i've been up there multiple times the last few weeks. excited to live there soon!
but when i mention fears, i'm not talking crowds, strangers, bars, subway, and all that stuff i'm talking this:

S'MACS is to die for! (no literally if you ate this everyday you honestly could from clogged arteries) it is amazing but scared me! wow pasta and cheese? hi anorexia, i've missed you!

but that doesnt mean i want you back (;

i ordered the Veggie Lite- whole wheat pasta, light cheddar, parmesan, broccoli, cauliflower and garlic! I couldnt get over how good it was! also had a side salad. (picture from a non-food blogger HA) i ate every last bite.

hehehehehe (;

fear of the unknown was not gonna stop me! can't wait for the future!

who else is excited to see the HUGE plans God has in store?

amazing.

looooovelara

since i fell off the face of the planet for a little, i wasnt able to share the package i got from LARABAR!
they had a five day giveaway where everyone was able to win <33
follow them on twitter @LARABAR

four full size laras of their best sellers,
pb&J,coconut cream pie, key lime and one more i cant remember?

they didnt last long (;
wow i have so much catching up to do!

took the longest break!

mehhh! sorry guys! i will start tomorrow! my resolution for the year is to be consistent in all areas of my life(; blog included!

been so busy spending time in NYC. going there for college next yearrrr! (if all goes to plan!)

representttinggggg