Monday, November 30, 2009

allow me to introduce myself..

i used to dance 6 days a week since i was two..
loved being the center of attentionn..
i was Miss NJ when i was five. i was legit (:

i always strived to be better.. stronger... smarter.. funner.. (more fun ha) and thinner..
my self confidence plummeted.

i know jealous guys (;

this is the last picture i would let myself be in.. i hated who i had become and was ashamed of how i looked. and to think, i thought i was ten times bigger than her. my XX lbs was not even close to what i needed to be for my 5'6 frame..


i still struggle everyday against my ED, my anorexia turned bulimia. but i am learning to love myself for how God created me.. He created me in His PERFECT image, who am i to change that?!

if it wasnt for my faith, my family and my nutritionist i wouldnt be where i am today..
i am starting to actually enjoy food again.

the more i post the more youll hear of my story..
but uh i thought this might help a little (;

night loves

the two ugliest photos in the worrlllddd

yup that would be me.. with the beautiful nerdle glasses to match THAT beautiful face...

and a beautiful bowl of oats..

but it did taste great! i eat the sameeee thing every morning; i'm addicted. but when i woke up we had NO bananas! and NO jiffy! what the...
i had to compromise so in went:
  • 1/4 cup oat meal
  • 1/4 cup oat bran
  • 1/2 vanilla soy milk
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/4 cup raisins
  • vanilla extract, maple extract, splenda, and cinnamon
it was a verrrrry close second to the best breakfast ever..
the picture is so ugggg though! /:
my bad, must have been too anxious to dig innnn (;
love me some carbs

Saturday, November 21, 2009

better than v8?

of course! i hate v8! :X
went to the KOP mall today with my girls and was able to quickly snap a couple of pictures of our yummy mid-afternoon pickmeups:

i got the body cleanser (obvi you cant read that sign)
in it was apple, carrot, tomato, grapefruit, cucumber, and watermelonnnnn

it was sooo hard to walk and snap a photo with an iPhone with shopping bags full of goodies while trying to do it nonchalantly (; i dont think i succeeded very well..


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

muy, muy bien

hola amigas! me gusto mucho mexican! QUESO! wow so annoying.. but my eats were all in some type related yesterday..
came home starvinggg (HUNGER CUE SO EXCITED) and made this..

amy's natural cheddar burrito! she's genius...
along side some grapes the size of golf balls (i kid you not)
and i topped it with this! :
think outside the bun (;
something about taco bell hot sauce just makes everything seem more... mmm tastier!
and then dinner came and again i visited mexico.. HUGE SALAD
low fat beef (!), corn, peppers, cucumbers, salsa, taco bell (; tomatoes and onions.
oh and tried yogurt ranch dressing? alllll good.

mejor comida nunca!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

keeennn- waaaaa?!

while the rest of my family indulged in greasy fries, i brought this little guy from whole foods with me for the gathering (: usually i'd be all for the cheesesteaks and onion rings buttttt the way i've been eating lately; kinda turned me off.

WHOLE FOOD BURRITO with quinoa (KEEN WAAA?!), and grilled veggies. I think there was carrots, green beans, squash, some other goodies? didnt save the wrapper /: all i know its my favorite everrr.

what are you thinking? your words speak life or death? are you discouraging or encouraging? are you building a mountain in your life or moving it? mmm i'm hoping to be more positiveee :D

Saturday, November 14, 2009


trader joes is straight from heaven i swear..
its pretty self explanatory (;
i just love the fact that the only ingredients listed are: organic skim milk, organic honey

yuppp and like i said earlier things have been hectic. ive been fighting b/p and it isnt working ): what the heckkk? with my anorexic control gone, my ravenous bulimic urges develop? not cooooolll. my hunger cues havent came back yet and i dont get full!
i could eat and eat and eat.. its actually quite impressive :D i'm at a healthy weight and i think that is what scares me! whats enough to maintain?! i am not so sure..

tomorrow is a new day though! its Sunday, CHURCH mm loves

Friday, November 13, 2009

awkward introduction.

dont mind me. ive been up long enough only to eat my oats :D

Thursday, November 12, 2009

my fuel

i feel like i've been driving all day... and really i have; i went to the gas station twicee.
nice knowing ya tips! :P

if it wasn't for my WAWA i think i would have died waiting in that traffic...

coffee kept me happpppy (;
for those unfortunate enough not to have a wawa, i'm really sorry :/ its the ultimate convenient store. BEST HOAGIES I SWEAR and can be healthy :D not to mention theres one every two miles... literally
in my 20 0z...
organic peruvian blend <3
splash of skim milk
splash of wawa's amazing french vanilla creamer
mmmmm amazingggg
thats my car btw
meet Dick the Civic !

body issues lately? yes. opened to this passage? wow.
those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life (!). Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into the spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God.
-Romans 8:5-8

Monday, November 9, 2009

love fall

love seasons 52 grill!
all entrees under 475 calories and menu changes with the season!
turkey burger with mozzarella cheese and portabella mushroom!
side salad was my favorite though!
WOW so impressed with this tea!
unsweetened natural passionfruit green tea..
can i buy these in bulk?

Sunday, November 8, 2009


sorry for the lack of posts!
and heres anotheer dud.

my dog just ate another jar of my peanut butter

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Sunday, November 1, 2009

new yogurt i found at whole foods (:
came with its own plastic shovel so i couldnt resist (;
vanilla flavoredddd yumminess and honestly you couldnt beat the nutritionals;
  • naturally fat free
  • 17 grams of protein (!)
  • 150 calories
considering it came with a shovel, i thought for sure it would be suppperrrr thick. but nahhh, consistency was perfect not to mention the actual vanilla bean in it ! :D

added some pumpkin seeds and a little GO LEAN
paired with a honey crisp apple
and you got the perfect lil' snack!
must get more!