lets change this up a bit..

and preach it a little. God's been working in me a lot lately about letting go and moving forward with all aspects of my life. I'm restless and cannot stop thinking about my past and suddenly it dawned on me, its OVER. I cannot change it, i cannot relive it, i cannot let it stop me from experiencing life.. my circumstances do not define me..

with each season of our lives, there is something to learn. no matter how rough it may be or productive it is, God is trying to show us something. without problems, there would be no need for miracles.
i used to constantly question God on why i have to deal with ED? why me? why can food, meant to be enjoyable, completely control my life in a negative way? i REGRET dieting and stepping on the scale for the first time, but i shouldnt. everything happens for a reason, and God doesnt put mountains in your way that you cant move! wow, i started thinking of all the people i've met because of this and i found my passion to help others who struggle too! God works in us to glorify is kingdom in the strangest of ways. and nothing is too big for Him! God fills that void in your heart that nothing else will ever be able to. "once you've gotten yourself filled up at God's table, you won't be hungry for anything else." amen.

wow i know this post is kinda random and all over the place, not my best of work but a lot has been running through my mind..
i dont care if you comment this or not..

MERRRRY CHRISTMAS!
but the best present ever, God gives us everyday
Timothy 1:7
for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind..

night loves.

quick post

wow, the difference running shoes make!

haha and all this time i just thought i wasn't cut to be a runner (;

i recently bought a pair of new shoes and today i decided to hit da mill

and guess what!

i beasted 2 and a half miles!

now that might not seem like a lot to you, but this is coming from a girl who could barely run a lap around the track :D

mighty fineee i must sayy.

off to work! and then i'll be with this lil' one:

her first Christmas with my crazy fammm; ahh SANTA WHO?!

i want my own...

:D

sorry for the lack of posts! i gotta work on being a better bloggerrr. eh oh well.

amy once again is genius...

instant gratificationnnn<333

i tried AMY'S VEGETABLE LASAGNA today for lunch and oh my! how does she do it??!?

it was amazing, the sauce was actually yummy! (usually the frozen entrees are yuck!) and the pasta cooked beautifully. they could have been more generous with the cheese though! (no worries, i fixed that!) but then again its only 310 calories!

12 grams fat

4.5 sat

35 g carb

5 g fiber

16 g protein

not too shabby for a ridiculously large portion of lasagnaaaaa!

anyone else snowed in like me?!

healthy enough..

TO DANCE AGAIN! MUAHAHAHA

woke up and made HOMEMADE MAPLE AND BROWN SUGAR OATS

betta than da instant stuff

sooo good. so so goood.

make it please

1/4 oats 1/4 bran 1/2 vanilla soy 1/4 water 2 splenda maple extract vanilla

ZAP IN DA MIKE

top with brown sugaaaa and mm smart balance

AND ZAP AGAIN!

:D oh my oh my

i legit wore my tights to church today

i was that excited

(iwishitookapicture!)

i packed a little fuel

my wawa, 2 BABY apples (SO TINY SO CUTE), a serving of pistachios, and a powerade zero. GENIUS

my nutritionist has taught me well

i am so sore already. woah wait til tomorrow!

sugar high

my plan kinda backfired; I am currently babysitting the most energetic kids ever... my fault.

I thought maybe making a gingerbread tree would keep them occupied for a while, nope they just ate the icing and now are bouncing off the wall

look at that finished product! :D

its snowing

and i had to drive home in itt! EHHHH!

ha well i came home to our xmas tree up. its very traditional.

terribly bad photo, i take them on my iPhone. i'm lazy with my camera.

but you get the idea (;

we have 9 full size tree. we kinda love xmas.

i made this for a linner (lunch/dinner) when i cam home from work:

i like to take the foods from the market and make them healthyyy.

grilled chicken, grilled asparagus (yum!), red onion, plum tomato on a bed of romaine.

i used Marzetti's all natural light balsamic vinegarette and enjoyed a side of KASHI crackers.

i dont think i liked them. i LOVE garlic, but not the amount on these crackers! i'm gonna be reeking for days.

night in, decorating another tree :D

so funnnnn !

panera who?

wednesdays honestly are blah, except for ZUMBA but that was cancelled...

blahhhhh

i work all day

it was so slowwwww; i was able to sit down and enjoy lunch..

MMMMMMMM!

anthony had made an awesome butternut squash puree. i had two bowls (!) and a side of whole grain crackers. not my favorite; sorry.

this kept me full allllll day. i wish i could go back and relive that meal (;

but uh dinner was just as good...

there's a turkey artichoke panini at Panera Bread that is to die for. unfortunately, i did not feel like driving forty minutes for a sammy. i made my own. JUST AS

GOOD!

no, ACTUALLY BETTER.

roasted turkey breast from the market, handful of spinach, some mozzarella

but it was nothing without the spread

canola mayo plus spinach dip mix!

omgooodness

ingredients in the dip:

• spinach flakes
• onion
• garlic
• dill

Proverbs 3:9

honor god with everything you own.

give him the first and the best.

allow me to introduce myself..

i used to dance 6 days a week since i was two..

loved being the center of attentionn..

i was Miss NJ when i was five. i was legit (:

i always strived to be better.. stronger... smarter.. funner.. (more fun ha) and thinner..

my self confidence plummeted.

i know jealous guys (;

this is the last picture i would let myself be in.. i hated who i had become and was ashamed of how i looked. and to think, i thought i was ten times bigger than her. my XX lbs was not even close to what i needed to be for my 5'6 frame..

I GOT HELP

i still struggle everyday against my ED, my anorexia turned bulimia. but i am learning to love myself for how God created me.. He created me in His PERFECT image, who am i to change that?!

if it wasnt for my faith, my family and my nutritionist i wouldnt be where i am today..

i am starting to actually enjoy food again.

the more i post the more youll hear of my story..

but uh i thought this might help a little (;

night loves

the two ugliest photos in the worrlllddd

ohh...

yup that would be me.. with the beautiful nerdle glasses to match THAT beautiful face...

NOT :D

and a beautiful bowl of oats..

NOT!

but it did taste great! i eat the sameeee thing every morning; i'm addicted. but when i woke up we had NO bananas! and NO jiffy! what the...

i had to compromise so in went:

• 1/4 cup oat meal
• 1/4 cup oat bran
• 1/2 vanilla soy milk
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/4 cup raisins
• vanilla extract, maple extract, splenda, and cinnamon

OMGOSH!

it was a verrrrry close second to the best breakfast ever..

the picture is so ugggg though! /:

my bad, must have been too anxious to dig innnn (;

love me some carbs

better than v8?

of course! i hate v8! :X

went to the KOP mall today with my girls and was able to quickly snap a couple of pictures of our yummy mid-afternoon pickmeups:

i got the body cleanser (obvi you cant read that sign)

in it was apple, carrot, tomato, grapefruit, cucumber, and watermelonnnnn

it was sooo hard to walk and snap a photo with an iPhone with shopping bags full of goodies while trying to do it nonchalantly (; i dont think i succeeded very well..

THANKSGIVING AND THANKSLIVING EVERYDAY :D

muy, muy bien

hola amigas! me gusto mucho mexican! QUESO! wow so annoying.. but my eats were all in some type related yesterday..

came home starvinggg (HUNGER CUE SO EXCITED) and made this..

amy's natural cheddar burrito! she's genius...

along side some grapes the size of golf balls (i kid you not)

and i topped it with this! :

think outside the bun (;

something about taco bell hot sauce just makes everything seem more... mmm tastier!

and then dinner came and again i visited mexico.. HUGE SALAD

low fat beef (!), corn, peppers, cucumbers, salsa, taco bell (; tomatoes and onions.

oh and tried yogurt ranch dressing? alllll good.

mejor comida nunca!

keeennn- waaaaa?!

while the rest of my family indulged in greasy fries, i brought this little guy from whole foods with me for the gathering (: usually i'd be all for the cheesesteaks and onion rings buttttt the way i've been eating lately; kinda turned me off.

WHOLE FOOD BURRITO with quinoa (KEEN WAAA?!), and grilled veggies. I think there was carrots, green beans, squash, some other goodies? didnt save the wrapper /: all i know its my favorite everrr.

what are you thinking? your words speak life or death? are you discouraging or encouraging? are you building a mountain in your life or moving it? mmm i'm hoping to be more positiveee :D

godsent

trader joes is straight from heaven i swear..

its pretty self explanatory (;

i just love the fact that the only ingredients listed are: organic skim milk, organic honey

yuppp and like i said earlier things have been hectic. ive been fighting b/p and it isnt working ): what the heckkk? with my anorexic control gone, my ravenous bulimic urges develop? not cooooolll. my hunger cues havent came back yet and i dont get full!

i could eat and eat and eat.. its actually quite impressive :D i'm at a healthy weight and i think that is what scares me! whats enough to maintain?! i am not so sure..

tomorrow is a new day though! its Sunday, CHURCH mm loves

awkward introduction.

dont mind me. ive been up long enough only to eat my oats :D

my fuel

i feel like i've been driving all day... and really i have; i went to the gas station twicee.

nice knowing ya tips! :P

if it wasn't for my WAWA i think i would have died waiting in that traffic...

coffee kept me happpppy (;

for those unfortunate enough not to have a wawa, i'm really sorry :/ its the ultimate convenient store. BEST HOAGIES I SWEAR and can be healthy :D not to mention theres one every two miles... literally

in my 20 0z...

organic peruvian blend <3

splash of skim milk

splash of wawa's amazing french vanilla creamer

mmmmm amazingggg

thats my car btw

meet Dick the Civic !

body issues lately? yes. opened to this passage? wow.

those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life (!). Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into the spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God.

-Romans 8:5-8

love fall

love seasons 52 grill!

all entrees under 475 calories and menu changes with the season!

omgosh..

turkey burger with mozzarella cheese and portabella mushroom!

side salad was my favorite though!

WOW so impressed with this tea!

unsweetened natural passionfruit green tea..

can i buy these in bulk?

THANKS :D

wowww

sorry for the lack of posts!

and heres anotheer dud.

my dog just ate another jar of my peanut butter

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet

i-heart.org

skyr.is?

new yogurt i found at whole foods (:

came with its own plastic shovel so i couldnt resist (;

vanilla flavoredddd yumminess and honestly you couldnt beat the nutritionals;

• naturally fat free
• 17 grams of protein (!)
• 150 calories

considering it came with a shovel, i thought for sure it would be suppperrrr thick. but nahhh, consistency was perfect not to mention the actual vanilla bean in it ! :D

added some pumpkin seeds and a little GO LEAN

paired with a honey crisp apple

and you got the perfect lil' snack!

must get more!

kid-friendly

lately i've really been craving my childhood favorites! you cant go wrong with basics! of course i upped the nutrition (:

annie's organic mac and cheese! microwaveable added some spinachh

comeeeee onnn

low sodium tomato soup and grilled ham and cheese! (2%singles of course)

please try it! use some butter flavored pam and thats it!

more cheese please?!??

yummmmmm

no wonder i loved being a kid

what kept me going...

an hour on the elliptical and my buns are thanking mee :D

couldnt have done it without good old DISNEY, this amazing memoir AMEN AMEN AMEN, and those hunks lifting weights down there (;

but seriously get yourselves a copy of that book! omgosh sooooo amazinggg! Abby Sher shares her story about overcoming anorexia and obsessive compulsive disorder. i cant put it down! even though its such a serious subject, abby is able to find humor through all of her sufferings. This is an awesome inspiration; anyone can overcome their struggles. freaking buy it :D

thats all.

helpppppp!

these last few days have been a blur, nothing but oats and chips ahoy! cookies; i kid you not.

finally went grocery shopping and got some new items..

this is where i need your help.

thats right; i've never cooked my own!

recipes? any meal? i dont careee!

i'm up for anythinggggggg

thanks babes!

...

i've binged/purged.

never done that before...

highlight of my day

SPONTANEOUS TRIP TO WHOLE FOODS!

treated muh self to this lovely combo...

sesame marinated tofu (:, garlic green beans (FAVORITE EVER), some quinoa with zucchini, carrots and peas(awesome grainnn; get ittttt), whats your favorite grain?and some seaweed salad..

the seaweed salad was not what i expected, its nothing like the seaweed in miso soup ? still amazing; I ate this cold before shopping around for some fun foodie products; this would have probably tasted great warmed up too (;

i wish i had a credit card that you never had to pay backk.. that'd be great. Got some awesome clothing at URBAN OUTFITTERS todayyy. unfortunately too many and now i'm running low on currency.

Let's hope for some good tippage tomorrow at workk.

vegetarians be advised..

i spent the entire time at work wrapping these;

ewwwwww; they call that meat?! yuck yuck yuckkkk

anyways, this week is just full of left overs; cant waste delicious food!

i've had some fun snacks thoughh including

POPCORN

my friend had a movie night and she made this for us!

aweeee so sweet;

popped in olive oil and sprinkled with garlic powder, parmesan, and sea salt.

surprisingly healthy

did you know that popcorn is whole grain? It contains antioxidants, fiber, and b vitamins (;

and you can have about 3 cups for 100 calories... VOLUME ladies... love it

i'm off to do some more psych! seeeeeee ya

real fast.

where did all my self control go?

I NEED TO STOP EATING CUPCAKES

dumb leftovers :D

live

continuing from my previous post sometimes you need to give in to your temptations; i said i'd be eating lighter today which i have compared to yesterday (; but you know what? i ate LEFT OVERS and they were delicious. I WANTED A MEATBALL PARM SANDWICH SO I HAD ONE! on a white roll may i add..

life is too short to not allow yourself certain foods, avoiding places because they dont have healthy options or not trying that amazing cake your grandma made because you know its not WHOLE WHEAT..

i eat healthy most of the time; i enjoy eating healthy but c'mon; are you really saying you will never indulge in a greasy grilled cheese once ever again? your body will take care of youu.. having some of these treats once in a while will not KILL YOU or even worse make you gain weight but it will SATISFY you and thats the important point i'm trying to make here..

i had a meatball parm sandwich and for dessert, TWO cupcakes. i do not have one ounce of guilt on my shoulders

they were delicious.. my nutritionist comes tomorrow and she will be proud (:

i had a "normal person meal" and guess what? it wasnt so bad after all...

my philosophy

flowers from my daddyyyy aweeeeeee

EAT WHAT YOU WANT AND AS MUCH AS YOU WANT at your own party (:

why worry about calories and fat? when you could be having

funnn; i admit my tummy ache right now hurts a little /: but was so worth it! my friends and family all came to celebrate my early graduationnn and it couldnt have been any better

..

my house turned into a buffet;

all the goods, pasta, chicken, egg plant parm, MEATBALLS (gasp)

fresh grilled veggies

i thank Aunt Mary for this beautiful HUGE bowl;

probably about 10 lbs of blackberries, pineapple, raspberries, strawberries, and grapes

TDF uhhh

and my cupcake tiers :D

church tomorrow, possibly some ballet in philly and more church later on...

I will DEFINITELY be eating lighter tomorrow but DEFINITELY NOT restricting

my body will tell me when its full (;

We were all created in God's Image, God's PERFECT image, love what He has blessed you with

preparation

a restless night? idkk if it had to do with the movie? nahh totally kidding i had wayy too much CAFFEINE yesterday.. by the time i fell asleep i didnt want to get up so i ended up sleeping through both my classes :O yikes; oh well

i got to wake up to a delicious bowl of this:

pumpkin oat bran

real original i know, but seriouslllyyy it is so goooooood

1/3 cup oat bran, pumpkin, milk

some vanilla, pumpkin spice, SPLENDA :D

1/2 banana

and topped with FF whipped cream (; some almonds and granola

i spent the rest of the day preparing for my graduation party, my mom likes to go a little over board with everything. wait till you see the food tomorrow!

at work tonight i tried something new...

"just green tea" not so much..

even with splenda it was hard to gulp down

see ya tomorrow!

peaaaaceeeee

debbie downer..

mmm.. no pictures this post, and not to burst any bubbles but i was thoroughly disappointed with "paranormal activity". gahhh what was supposed to be the scariest movie of the year was a dud..

idk maybe its just because ive seen so many scary movies; they all blend together but i was looking forward to a good scare like this :O and i got :/ ickkk.

better food for better people...

I work at an Italian Market;

I'm a server/deli/cashier/ dishwasher..

but my main goal is to sell this:

large hunks of cheese dont really appeal to me (:

I also get to wear this pretty shirt :

ya heard right..

dont get me wrong, i love my job, but nights like tonight i just didnt want to be there. cut my finger again ): stupid cheese

fun fact; according to Freud, i apparently am sarcastic because i didnt bite enough as a baby. Well, i'll just make it up now (; with some good eats

addiction.

i'm taylor and i'm addicted to ice cream.

its badddddd; i need help (;

nomnomnom

ohohoh ohhhh

dont forget to;

trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

i'll figure this out..

can i tell you how i woke up at 1:50 AM fully alert? gahhhhh. I ate breakfast, did laundry, abs, caught up on homework just to pass time and then it was still only 5 AM?! whattt theee...

i have a sleeping problem; i just know it.

the rest of the day was a blur, i blame sleep deprivation.

I'll start posting food pictures, verses, the goods when i understand how to work this blog (:

my life can be fun sometimes :D

hi (:

wow so excited to finally blog!

cant wait to get startedddd; hopefully it isnt too confusing!

love to meet any of you bloggers!

nightttt!